In these blessed times we live in, it’s easy to get one’s hands on a legal marijuana product with quality guaranteed. No hassle from the cops or having to deal with a shady dealer with a subpar product.
Like I said, blessed times.
But the problem might be at home. Having procured your favorite flower or edible you head home with hope in your heart. It’s going to be a great night, you tell yourself.
Only you remember halfway that your partner doesn’t like marijuana. In fact, that partner can’t stand the stuff. They object to you using it or maybe they’re just not supportive of your pastime.
Now there’s conflict. Your relationship is facing some serious trouble there. If things continue this way the relationship itself might be in jeopardy.
The thing is love is involved here. Apart from the cannabis thing, you are compatible in every other way. We’re talking soulmates here. Everything else is great. So any talk of breaking up is out of the question.
At the same time the cannabis issue is becoming a dilemma and if left unsolved it could destroy the relationship altogether.
So how do you save your relationship while one partner continues to enjoy their marijuana in peace?
Boundaries and limits
We all know how dynamic relationships are. They defy defining, categorizing, or compartmenting. This means every relationship is unique. That said, there are some golden relationship rules that apply to almost every situation. One of those golden rules is you cannot possibly hope to change your partner’s behavior by simply shaming them.
This applies to both partners in this relationship where one likes marijuana and the other doesn’t. No one partner can shame the other into changing. Take that to the bank.
So those loving couple who agree on everything except for marijuana will need to stop trying to change each other. Instead, they need to find a compromise and middle grounds to make things work.
This applies to almost every relationship problem out there. But in our case, it fits perfectly. You need to communicate and talk about it. Together. Not behind each other’s back.
Each partner calmly lays their points whether for or against marijuana and the other listens patiently. Notice the adverbs in that sentence: calmly and patiently. That’s the key.
You might both discover that the problem is not in marijuana itself but in the smell, the bong lying around in full view all the time, or the crumbs of edibles which are always crunching under the other partner’s feet.
In short, it might just be a small problem with simple solutions. If the aroma bothers one partner then maybe the pot-loving one should switch to vaping or edibles.
Show understanding … a lot of understanding
As a marijuana lover, you need to understand where your partner comes from. If that partner doesn’t like marijuana it doesn’t help if you start telling them how stupid that is. And don’t think you can coerce them into liking it or starting to use it. It doesn’t work that way.
You need to show your partner that you appreciate their feelings and thoughts about something you love dearly. Your partner doesn’t need to give excuses for their stance against the green leaf. You can’t just challenge their attitude towards marijuana and expect to find a solution to this difficult problem.
In most cases, the partner just wants to be heard out. As we said, the problem itself might be more about tidiness or lack of and optics than about marijuana itself. But if you turn a deaf ear to your partner’s concerns and try to shame them you’re not helping either of you.
Listen to their point of view and acknowledge it. Agree with them that there’s a problem and a solution is something that both of you need to work toward. Don’t be dismissive or patronizing. Being a pot lover doesn’t make you superior to your partner who doesn’t like it.
Finding a solution
The responsibility of finding a solution to this cannabis problem lies squarely on the shoulders of both partners. Admitting that there’s a problem is the first step. Agreeing to sit down and talk about it with open minds is the second crucial step.
Now is the time to find a solution.
Finding a solution mostly is about compromising. The pot lover needs to accept limitations on their use of marijuana at certain times. If your partner doesn’t like the aroma of marijuana in bed, it might mean you need to have the green leaf at other times. Or switch to vaping and edibles over smoking to limit the smell. So always be open to compromise and finding a middle way to solve the problem.
Finding a solution is also about not trying to take advantage of the situation. Just because one partner is ready to compromise doesn’t mean that the other one makes unreasonable demands. Remember this is about making a life together not trying to score points. The marijuana issue is just a small problem that you can work together to solve.
Think of it as a test of how communicative you are and the health level of your relationship. If you can deal with this as adults, it’s a sure sign your relationship is strong and you will be able to handle any hurdle that you face down the road.
Being communicative is crucial. Not just with this problem but with everything else that a relationship goes through.
And remember that this is not the kind of problem you can shove under the carpet and pretend everything is fine. If you’re planning to take your relationship to the next level (moving in together, getting married, etc.) you need to sort this out first. Life together will be a lot easier once this issue has been solved.